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BOOK TITLE…. LOVE,MARRIAGE AND SEX by marvelous okkhai.


When it comes to our friends, we can normally tell a mile off whether what they’re feeling for someone is lust or love. When it comes to ourselves, however, we’re never able to see things quite as clearly.

The saying goes that love is blind, but this rings true for lust too. We’re blind to any defects in the object of our affections, but when we’re high on lust, we can also be blind to signs that what we’re feeling might not actually be the real deal.

Love is a deep feeling of affection that you have for another person. It’s a lasting attraction that goes beyond the surface and turns into emotional attachment.

Lust, on the other hand, is basically a physical attraction that leads to an overwhelming feeling of sexual desire thanks to a rush of hormones.

While lust can grow and morph into love, and some people call it the first stage of love , that’s not always the case.

If you’ve got butterflies doing laps around your stomach and you’re not sure if what’s stirring them up is really love or just sexual chemistry with no real substance to it (although there’s no guarantee that won’t develop with time), here are the key things that set love apart from lust.

1. You Want To Spend All Night Talking

Two people deeply in lust can easily stay up all night enjoying themselves in each other’s company, but it won’t be the stimulating conversation keeping them awake.

Two people in love, however, are just as interested in each others mind as they are in each other’s bodies. They can easily lose track of time when doing nothing more than talking to one another.

They’re never stuck for a topic of conversation and, even if they don’t agree on everything, they’re intrigued by each other’s minds.

2. You Want To Cuddle And Have Breakfast The Next Day

Whilst you can, and probably will, feel a huge amount of sexual desire for someone you’re in love with, you’ll also be just as keen to stay with them after you’ve had sex to cuddle and chat.

You might have to rush off to work the next morning, but what you’ll really want is to have a leisurely breakfast in their company.

3. You Can’t Stop Thinking About Them

It’s true that lust can do this to us too. If you’re in lust, however, you may well spend all your time thinking about them, but you’ll be daydreaming about the physical aspects of the relationship or their physical features.

Those in love won’t be able to get the other person off their mind either, but they’re more likely to be caught daydreaming about something witty the object of their affections said and marvelling over their mind or the things they have in common.

That’s not to say that their thoughts will be entirely pure and they won’t get flashbacks to the physical side of things too, but they won’t be the main focus.

4. You Want To Meet Those Important To Them

Much as you’ll be interested in seeing the object of your lust, you won’t have much of an interest in meeting their network of family and friends.

Love, however, means you want to get to know all sides of someone. You can tell an awful lot about someone by the people they surround themselves with and those they count amongst their good friends. If things get serious, their families are likely to become a big part of your life.

If what you’re feeling is love, you’ll want to build relationships with these people too. You’ll see it as a vital part of developing your relationship with your partner.

In return, you’ll be excited and proud to introduce them to your best friends and family, and anxious for them to adore your new partner almost as much as you do (but in a different way – obviously!).

5. You Know They’re Not Perfect

In our rational minds, we know that no one is perfect, but we can easily lose sight of that when we’re blinded by hormones and desire. When you’re lusting after someone, you have an idealized picture of them, and you don’t see them for who they really are, warts and all.

We all tend to present an idealized version of ourselves when a relationship is first starting to bud. You don’t really get under someone’s skin unless you put the time in.

As you get to know someone, they let their guard down and start to show their true colors. It’s only then that you get to know them for who they really are.

That can either put an end to a blossoming relationship, meaning it never makes it past the lust stage, or that it grows and morphs into real love. If you love someone, you’re conscious of their flaws and love them in spite of, or maybe even because of, them.

6. It Takes Time

I hate to break it to you romantics out there, but love at first sight doesn’t exist.

Of course, you can experience lust at first sight. You can experience a strong attraction at first sight that feels like a lightning bolt with fireworks going off in your head when they kiss you. This can easily be confused with love, especially if the relationship does go on to develop.

Love in its true form, however, just isn’t something that can appear instantly. In order to love someone, you have to spend quality time with them and truly get to know them.

7. It’s All In the Science

The different ways that we behave when we’re experiencing desire and love are the result of what’s going on under the surface in our complex brains.

A recent study tried to get to the bottom of what happens in the brain when we experience sexual desire and love. It showed that, although they are very much linked, they activate different areas of a part of the brain known as the striatum.

The area linked to desire is lit up by things we gain instant pleasure from, like food and sex. Love, however, is linked to another area that’s involved in a conditioning process through which we begin to attach value to the things that we associate with pleasure or reward.

If our sexual desires are rewarded with pleasurable feelings consistently, love can develop. That’s why you can’t fall in love instantly. As we go through the process of moving from lust to love, our feelings move from one area of the striatum to another.

Turns out that, on a basic level, and without wanting to sound too depressingly un-romantic, love is essentially a habit that we develop when our sexual desires are rewarded.

The same part of the brain is associated with drug addiction. Anyone who’s ever been a bit crazy in love will understand that.


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The master key that unlocks the door of blessings lies within the covenant of blessing. Bearing in mind that there are two parties to every covenant, we know that the covenant of blessing is between God and man (us) me and you, and knowing that God is a covenant keeping God (Isaiah 54:10). Now I ask you, does man always keep his part of the covenant? Man is always living in disobedience. This leads to a break in the covenant. When a man breaks the covenant, he is cut off and cursed (Jeremiah 34:17-20), But when we are obedient to the word of God. When we obey the principles of God, we PROVOKE GOD TO ACTION. He will bless you in your marriage, your family, your business, your children, your going out and coming in. He will bless everything about you. (Genesis 22:16-17)

Abrahams act of giving his own son Isaac in obedience was a symbol of what God did when He gave his son Jesus to die on the cross for our sin, so that we can be salvaged.(John 3:16). There are steps that must be taken to provoke God’s blessing in our lives. These steps are found in the beatitudes in the fifth chapter of the Gospel according to St. Mathew. 7 of the blessing are open to you or anyone who serves both God and your fellow man. But the 8th blessing is for those who suffer for the sake of Christ. The Beatitudes tell you that God’s blessings provide great rewards for the right attitudes he thought you in the Bible.

1. Humble yourself. ‘’ Blessed are the poor in spirit , for theirs is the Kingdom of Heaven’’ (Mathew 5:3)

2. Repent of your sins, be sorry and be willing to change for better. ‘’ blessed are they that mourn for they shall be comforted’’ (Mathew 5:4)

3. Be unassuming and non-egotistical. ‘’Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth’’ (Mathew 5:5)

4. Seek right ways with an appetite for good. ‘’Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be satisfied’’ You need to make righteous choices for your own sake. It makes life easier. (Mathew 5:6)

5. Show mercy. ‘’Blessed are the merciful for they shall obtain mercy’’ (Mathew 5:7). Show compassion, love one another. There is no love amongst us. It is lacking seriously in the church and it is a big problem. My prayer is that God will have mercy upon us and release to us the Spirit of divine love and compassion. Let me state without fear of contradiction, that there is no love in most of us in the church. There are so many children in the church who want to go to school but simply cannot because there is no body to finance them. Meanwhile we have members who throttle round the globe without sweat. They go to Disney land and others holiday resorts at will. Of what value is all that visits to holiday resorts when there is a much better need to attend to? There are members of the Church who are not on talking terms. They carry on with their enmity even till death and still leave their children to continue their contrived battles. The type of love we share here is the selfish and devilish kind of love that leads to orgy, adultery and fornication. What we need is agape love, the type that made Christ to die on the cross for us. The kind that forgives in love, the kind that is compassionate and kind.

6. Be pure through faith. ‘’Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God’’ (Mathew 5:8) Purity is found by concentrating on and dedicating to and seeking to right what is wrong by God’s will and purpose.

7. Be a peace maker be especially blessed. ‘’blessed are the peace makers for they shall be called the children of God (Mathew 5:9) Peace is a nice idea as long as you get your way, but it’s more than that. It starts at home. Love your wife and children and have personal peace and love in Jesus.

8. Accept persecution. ‘’Blessed are they which are persecuted for righteousness sake, for theirs is the kingdom of

9. Accept persecution meant for God. ‘’ Bless are you , when men shall revile you and persecute you and shall say all manner of evil against you falsely for my sake’’ (Mathew 5:11)

10. Rejoice and be exceedingly glad, for great is your reward in heaven, for so persecuted they the prophets which were before you. (Mathew 5:12) So rejoice through your troubles and through your weakness, for in Christ you are made strong. That is another blessing and you have a greater reward in Heaven.

It is important that you put your blessing to good use. If you obey, then:

1. Our blessings, your blessing, should and must flow to others. You bless others by serving a need, whether it is physical or emotional support, financial help or practical advice.

2. When we bless others, God takes care of our needs. There is almost nothing God will not do for a person who really want to help others. God guarantees these blessings. When you care for others, God assumes responsibility for all your problems.

3. Our blessing to others will come back to us one way or the other. (Luke 6:38)

4. The more we are blessed by God, the more God expects us to bless others.

To whom much is given, much is expected (Luke 12:48)

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