All of us encounter situations where forgiveness is needed. Offenses may range from minor irritations in marriage to infidelity, from hasty words spoken by parents to years of child abuse. They may occur on the playground, in the classroom, on the job, in the church. Whether it is an apparent slight of a friend or a deliberate mistreatment, everyone faces circumstances, which demand forgiveness. And each new situation requires a new decision to do so. Many carry grudges for years. They may have been wronged, falsely accused, or maltreated. They may think they have good grounds for the feelings that are in their hearts. However, troubles like babies grow larger through nursing and the bible gives no excuse for resentment, ill will, or lack of forgiveness, no matter what the provocation may be. Without forgiveness, bitterness grows in the heart. At some point that resentment will spill out. It may come tagged onto an unrelated disagreement, and that may result in a mean attitude towards someone, group of individuals or nation. Whatever form it takes, the bitterness will grow. If unresolved, it will result in a person’s standing before God unforgiven. What a price to pay! Forgiveness is a priceless gift, which you can give to yourself, your family, and the entire world.
Over the years, there has been the maxim that once saved is forever saved. This theory has been proved wrong by various bible scholars through the preaching and admonishment of the body of Christ. It has also been noticed that one of the major factor that has destroyed the body of Christ and even the entire nation is the spirit of unforgiveness. I believe that as you go through this piece of work, God will grant you the grace to overlook the offence and forgive whosoever has wronged you.
Meaning of unforgiveness
According to G.K Chesterton, forgiveness means pardoning that which is unpardonable or else it is of no virtue. Studzinski (1986) defines forgiveness as a willful process in which the forgiver chooses not to retaliate but rather respond to the offender in a loving way. Walters (1984) also sees forgiveness as a voluntary process that usually requires courage and multiple acts of the will to complete. He views forgiveness as an essential process due to the destructiveness of not forgiving and asserts that to forgive is to give up all claims on the offender, including letting go of the emotional consequences of the hurt. In Walters’ view, the person who has been hurt has two alternatives: to be destroyed by anger, which leads to death, or to forgive which leads to healing and life. Longman Dictionary Of Contemporary English defines forgiveness as “to say or feel that one is no longer angry with (someone) or about (something); to say or feel that one no longer blames (someone) for something. Forgiveness means the act of forgiving or state of being forgiven.” Choice English Dictionary, says forgive means to pardon or to cease from reproaching. “Forgive,” according to Webster’s New World Dictionary, means: “to give up resentment against or the desire to punish; pardon; to overlook an offense; to cancel a debt.” While the author sees forgiveness as below:
Q: What is the true meaning of forgiveness? When I say, “I forgive,” what am I saying?
A: If you ever had your feelings hurt and you forgave the person for it, and, inside of you, you allowed them the chance to hurt your feelings again, then you really did forgive them. You entered into real, true forgiveness because you allowed them the opportunity to come back to you again. That is forgiveness. However, if you remember who they were and what they said and what they did and the time they did it, and if you say you forgave them, you did not. We do not really forgive when we still have the feeling of the memory of the hurt. Forgiveness is the overcoming of negative effect and judgment toward the offender; not by denying ourselves the right to such effect and judgment, but by endeavoring to view the offender with benevolence, compassion, and even love, while recognizing that he or she has abandoned the right to them.
The important parts of this definition are as follows: a) one who forgives has suffered a deep hurt, thus showing resentment; b) the offended person has a moral right to resentment but overcomes it nonetheless; c) a new response to the other accrues, including compassion and love; d) this loving response occurs despite the realization that there is no obligation to love the offender.
Therefore, unforgiveness means the state of been angry with (someone) or about (something); to say or feel that someone is to be blame for something thereby continuing in reproaching him or her………to be continued
Culled from the book ..OVERCOMING THE SPIRIT OF UNFORGIVENESS. To order for book, prayer and counseling call 07036602410 or email marvelousokhai@gmail.com
